Friday, January 9, 2009


I feel so sad at the moment. This should be in my other blog, but I don't exactly want to use that one, don't know why. I'll probably end up posting it in there anyways. So, anyways, there's something in me that wants to die right now. I don't know what it is, it's just losing the will to live. It's as if my head says "be happy, your life is going great right now" and my body and heart are saying "don't lie to yourself, you're coming apart at the seams, you may be able to lie to yourself, and others, but not me". I don't have the ability to cry. The reason- I don't know, honestly. :]

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
I think its real. Terrible. It's probably never going to go away either. You don't want to accept it, but I think about you every day. You're always on my mind.

Okay, so new part of the blog. I was thinking, and I don't know who that song reminds me of more. Both J names, one reads this blog. LOL. So, yeah.
Yay, Rikki is home. One thing in my life that is going mildly right, maybe now, with my therapist home from her vaycay ill feel less dead. I'm starting to do homework just to fill the void. TERRIBLE! I feel so incredibly empty all of the time now DX.

I'll blog more later. i guess.