Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Sunday, December 21, 2008


So! I am going to try and blog about something Deep and Mind-boggling. Like Ryan. Haha, and not about my problems. :D

Pope marks Galileo anniversary, praises astronomy

That actually, kind of makes me laugh. Because way back when in..idk when, because we havent studied that time in WHAP yet. haha. the catholic church condemned Galileo for his discovery or. rather speculation i guess, that the earth revolved around the sun. OKAY> THIS IS HARD. I DONT WANTTO BLOG ABOUT THIS DX.

back to normal :]
Soyeah, today was uneventuful. Absolutely, i woke up at like. 10 this morning when Thu came home. haha, then i went back to bed and slept until about.. 12, id say? and i went to my moms room. Yeah. Hugged Reggie a bit, because at the moment. im hug deprived. THIS is what happens to me over break.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


huhm. i have a headache-type thing. I dont particularly like this feeling. Hmm. SOyeah, I hate breaks. They give me too much time to think, and me + thinking is a really bad thing. Yeah. Euh. Ive been trying to lose myself in Charmed. It isnt working that well. Charmed makes me sad or scared. Either or. I've been a wreck lately. And I dont know Why exactly. Je ne sais pas.
So today, I woke up and ..l I woke up. Sven came by around 2:00. My dad was home, so I had to turn him away. I wish I didnt have to. :[

Im all blogged out. Kinda.

Monday, December 15, 2008


Some Sour Grapes

Sometimes it’s hard to be Vietnamese,
Her name is Thi Phan,
But sometimes,
It’s Thi Pham

When you’re Vietnamese, certain things are expected.
You must get good grades,
You must be yellow-skinned,
Your name must be mispronounced by strangers,
You must love pho,
You must love Paris by Night,
And you must be a complete pack-rat.

Thi Phan is unlike most Vietnamese girls,
She does not get very good grades,
She is not yellow skinned,
And Thi does not love pho.

She is, however,
A lover of Paris by Night,
A pack-rat,
And her name has been mispronounced by multiple strangers.

It annoys her immensely,
Her family’s high expectations,
They’re always let down.
Her coffee-colored skin,
It’s more Filipino than Vietnamese.
Her dislike of Pho,
“What will you eat when I make Pho for dinner?”

Sometimes, Thi wishes to be something else,
Korean or Japanese,
Not plain old Vietnamese.

Sometimes, she wishes for singers that sounded good,
Some that are good-looking too.
Some Manga that was in Vietnamese,
Some Vietnamese Pop-culture.
Something that the nationality is known for
Something other than Pho.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


SO. since it is sophomore year and not junior year, im going to have as MUCH fun as i can this year, because i wont be able to have fun NEXT year. suckass. cuhs like Goose is a JUNIOR. so i feel superbad about bothering him sometimes. ahg DX w.e giveup thi. giveup. Haha. ;]

Wednesday, December 10, 2008



Okay. so this is sad. this blog is gna be kindve..stories..idunno. stupid kinda. Lol. SO. Today, during Cava, i had to go to the bathroom because i thought i was having period bombs, and i walked up to him (his back was to me) and i was like "mr. Cava..." and hes like AWHH NOOO!! and i like FROZE and then two seconds later ran away to my seat. Yeah. i know. pathetic, right? And later on Rikki was like "Mr. Cava, Thi has to go to the bathroom, but shes afraid to ask" and hes like "thi. go to the bathroom before you pee yourself." and i ran off, but BEFORE i ran off, i heard cava go "whatd she think? i was gna say no? 'STAND IN THE CORNER AND GO!" and rikki was like "you DID say no Mr.Cava!" False alarm though. false alarm. I wasnt on my period, thankgoodness. :]

New story. okay, so i think Goose is gna get sucked into a vortex. HA's solution was to make him my devoted boyfriend. But thats a stupid solution..cuhs..well. for obvious reasons. Such as. hes too old & its his jr. year so i dont wantto bother him. Haha. Anyways, he never has time to talk anymore. so yeah.

But my sisters/their boyfriends think i have a boyfriend. im like "..no.." i was gna be all coy and assertive and be like "so. my sisters/their boyfriends/theirfriends think youre my boyfriend..we should just make it yknow. a fact." ahah. but, no. i didnt, so therefore, i wont.

PeaceOutYo! :]


HAHA. i had the urge to make this. idunno why. i think im turning pathetic.


So. it kindve feels like he ripped out my heart. i never really want to feel this way again. Maybe this is why i dont want a boyfriend. he crippled me for life. LovehimtoPieces. too much, i think. but whatever. <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333


So, yeah. that little drawing-ish thing. was about you. so you were being conceited for a good reason. idunno. But I broke every rule doing that. so hm. short post. need to tinkle. *reallyquietly* Haha. So. yeah. I have the feeling hes starting to like. Not anymore. nd i dont like that feeling.Ha and vivz are gna hold the fact that i went from liking nick to jon so quickly. but its likee.. Okay, i dont wantto bag on nick..when hes gna read this possibly. Ah DX
Soyeah, the day after tmorrow i get to see Goose! in person! then the day after that, i get to see him AGAINN. in person! haha. mm I have alot of homework right now. French workbook, sketch for Graphic design and.. Geometry. Ah. i wantto finish by 10. cuhs i like blogging and stuff then. :] I havent had a majorly awesome hug in a LONG time. This sucks BUTT. ohmygosh, and if i go to church & see Goose, and i dont get hugs. im going to be sad..er.. haha.
.. i have the oddest feeling that im gna get my heart broken in the next 10-20 minutes. ill blog more later.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


So.. Today i was thinking reallyreallyreaally hard. Mayn, i couldve popped a blood vessel. haha, im drinking milk right now. Its not going to make me taller. Stupid Liars that say milk makes you taller...haha

SOSOSO. heres a convo i had with rikki. its kind of pitiful..

(7:56:02 PM) cuppit3a cakes: im experiencing the first sign of call-hell
(7:56:51 PM) rheeeeak: we need to stop being attached to boys.
(7:56:55 PM) rheeeeak: we are strong women.
(7:56:57 PM) cuppit3a cakes: yes
(7:56:58 PM) cuppit3a cakes: Lol
(7:56:58 PM) rheeeeak: we don't need boys to make us happy.
(7:56:59 PM) cuppit3a cakes: we are.
(7:57:00 PM) rheeeeak: LOL.
(7:57:02 PM) cuppit3a cakes: Lol
(7:57:10 PM) rheeeeak: my lame attempt at not wallowing in self pity.

Haha, sadly, i know, and she knows that we both will not become self-dependent and stop loving boys so much. Sorry, Pro-creating is my friend. my BEST BEST FRIEND.
Okay, so i was thinking about why i really dont want a boyfriend. Or, i do want one. I do, in a sense. ill talk about that more later.
So, i was thinking about ALLL the single boys i know, and i was likee " i know the PERFECT present to get them" Haha. it was written by a 9 year old. so cute :] HAHA. nick, i know you arent gna read this. THAT is your xmas present. :DD

Okay. so back to my dilemma. I like ---- And. idunno what the heck to do about it. After a lengthy talk with matviy ( my stand-in life coach) Hm. Time passes so quickly on Facebook. Time passes so quickly period. so im going to post this picture & hope the right person sees it. :]

And replies .. hopefully
J'aime Ha Plus Que ---

Monday, December 8, 2008


Soyay. Im happy now, found out Goose aime moi aussi. Peut-etre .. i should take the plungee. you only live once..yeah>? peutetre.peutetre.


Ahh. okay, so right now, i feel like im having a food baby. euhg. AND i have a buncha homweork, AND im super tired. So first of all, the food baby. RIKKI is gna be part of the reason i weigh like 200 pounds. cuhs whenever we hang out, she wants food and i dont wanna be the one not eating. DX So i had this ham, cheese, and egg croissant from the donut shop. soooo yummmyy. it was like. as big as delarosa's head. and yeah. it was delicious. and only like. 3.25. and i had a diet coke..thats sitting on my bed as i type. Hahhaha
okay, second, buncha homework. I have a w/s i didnt finish for carr. that stupid monowhateverwhatever. the whatever thing about monohybrid crosses and punnett squares and whatever. And i have a w/s for Sevilla i didnt feel like doing in class cuhs i was lazy, AND like, three activities to write for french. ahh. not too much, wanna finish by 10:30 though. Sad, that i finish by 10:30, but i rarely ever get to bed till like. 12.
So last night, i couldnt sleep at ALL. i was like. wracked with guilt cuhs. idunno, i misinterpreted Goose when he was like "you should go to my winterball" i didnt realize he meant like WITH HIM. and im still not sure butbutbut. i was like WRACKED With guilt cuhs its his junior year, and he should have a good time at his winterball (goose, i know youre going to read this, and i hope you clarify) So like, yeah, now i feel supersuper bad, and i WISH i could say yes, but like. Seriously, i dont want a boyfriend right now. its likee..I honestly just want to date. and i know what matviy would say. i KNOWW he'd be like "well, youd just be leading him on till the next best thing comes along" and. im NOT! im just kindve at the point where. i dont know him that well, i dont wantto jump into this whole "boyfriend girlfriend" crap. especially since i would never like SEE him. and i havent seen him in like. 3 years i think. So im kindve like. i dont want a boyfriend, i wantto DATE him, and if it turns into a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, then it does. DX ahh. But like, hes such a nice guy, that i seriously dont deserve. So I HATEE that elaine/rikki are right, because its like AHH! I dont deserve this wonderful boy that makes me so wonderfully Happy! and AHH. my head is hurting DX. My brain needs to be sorted.

& Jon, im pretty sure youre gna read this, so im putting it here cuhs idk how to tell you & im a little wuss. :[[ so yeah. I think im done.
AH. and i was talking to Delarose today about this junk, and it just made me miss Ms.Lee. ahh. DXX

Sunday, December 7, 2008


When I think of an Asian girl, the first adjectives that would come to mind are small, smart, quiet, and beautiful I know, it’s a stereotype, but, stereotypes are based on small grains of truth. Almost every Asian girl I know – every Asian person for that matter, is smart, rather small, and quiet. When I think of those stereotypical Asian people, I get mad. Not a ticked off, but mad, because then I look at myself and think “wow, I’m Asian?”
My family often calls me a banana or Twinkie. They say that I’m “yellow on the outside and white on the inside”. As of Thanksgiving, the Twinkie has become the potato. Because of water polo, I’m no longer light skinned. My insides are still white, it’s just the outside got darker. “Kind of like a rotten banana”, my cousin was quick to point out. I usually over hear my grandmother talking to my mom, saying that I was raised wrong. “With the wrong morals” she says. My grandmother often says this because I am neither smart nor quiet.
The ethereal Asian beauty is petite, has silky, smooth black hair that hangs to her waist, and is smart. My sister Tieny is the epitome of an Asian beauty. She is smart, very, very smart. She graduated magna cum laude at Piedmont Hills High school, was clarinet first chair at Piedmont, and went on to UCLA as a business major. She is smart, beautiful, and rather quiet. Everything I’m not. It actually used to make me a little sad when I was younger.

The fifteen years I’ve been alive, I’ve been the chubby one, the dumb one, the loud one. I’ve just started to see myself as special, that I am rather tall for an Asian person, but to any other race, ill be pretty darn short. I’ve also realized that I’m not dumb compared to the world, I’m just dumb compared to my incredible sisters. I’m loud and I love it. I love making my voice heard, I love being able to quiet a crowd, and I love the laughs my friends and I share when I say something really loud in a room full of people and it gets quiet. I love myself.
Five years ago, I would have given anything to be like my sisters, I still do from time to time. Now, most days, I love being me. I love every inch of my petite, but curvy frame. I love every neuron in my brain because of their ability to remember the most random things. I love my loud, obnoxious voice, and my loud, obnoxious laugh. I can fully say that I am a regular girl that loves herself most days. So, when my grandmother says I’m not Asian, Pooh to her. Well, not pooh, because she’s my grandmother. When my family call me a banana or a potato, who cares? I am Thi, and nobody else. I’m not Tieny, Thu, or Trang. My name is Thi Phan, I’m 5”1, I have a B average, and a loud voice. So sue me.


So, Yesterday was really fun. It was AsiaSison's birthday party, i feel like blogging before i do my heritage project or whatever. yucksyucksyucks. I might post it on here, i think its gna be a poem. The day before yesterday, Friday evening, I was talking to Matviy. and i was just THINKING. Batman is freaking awesome, because he isnt super, hes just rich. whoever the hell said money doesnt buy happiness was poor. i swear. or didnt have enough of it. Uhm, and Matviy said i talk differntly. Cuhs i use words like oxymoron and i can talk about politics and stuff like that. So, apparently im smarter? i just think i never spoke to him like that before. And, im trying not to say the word "like" when i talk, or at least as a filler. Like when someone says "so..like..i was like.." and crap l like that.
I have a craving for grapes, ahg. But i had about fifteen BAJILLION calories yesterday, and people kept implying that i was fat.. :[[ saddening.
My hands are uuberly coolld. It isnt even funny. I will start the poem at SEVEN. i promise myself. Promise promisePROOMIIISEEE. So, on friday, at the giftwrapping thing, i was looking @ sex books for presents for pplz, as gag-gifts, and i was looking through this one book and on this one page there was a couple having SEX. like FULL COLOr, SIZE OF A CHILDRENS BOOK HAVING SEx. it was like a freezeframe from a pornmovie or something like that. Her boobs were like HANGING OUT. and this one guy walks buy me and GLARES and is just AHEMHEMHEMM till i put it back and ran away. it was scaarryy. and Friday, after school, this guy kept HITTING ON ME. it was so traumatic!! DXX Ahg.
So, i was thinking about how for choir warm-ups, ms. dameron would have them sing I love to sing, or we love to sing. w/e and i was THINKINg, that . idont remember what the heck i was thinking. Haha. the memories of that guy hitting on me were too traumatic.
OKAY. So! yesterday, i was talking to Goose, and i WARNED him to NOOTT get sucked in. TO NOT. and if he does, then i will poke him really hard in the butt. and i get to shave his legs. Yaaay.
I wonder if Goose is going to his winterball..hmm..he should, and then take pictures of himself Not dancing. and send me those pictures of him Not dancing. I wonder what kind of car he's getting..
I love talking to Matviy, haha. hes such a cool guy. Hes such an oddball that we dont really run out of things to talk about. haha. ITs only SIX FIFTY?! omgah. I think i wrote alot. Hm, im gna stick another picture from Asia's party in NOW.
OHNO! as soon as i hug Goose on Friday, im gna have to listen to him. Eeek DX ohwell. I feel supersad, i ran outtve milanos. :[[ And i havent gotten a letter from sven since Thursday. Should get one..Monday or tuesday? i guess. i got beef-jerkey, im so happy. Haha, but i want GRAPES or V8 juice! ooh, that sounds yummy right now. its no wonder im getting fat, right? haha.
Ive got stuff on the brain that i shouldnt have on the brain, and its weird. And i cant WRITE about it completely because i know someone actually READS it now AHEMAHEMGOOSEHAMME. haha. I still get the feeling i bore him or i annoy him, but..hmm..And i think im detrimental to his health, because i keep him up really late. :[
I have this competitive feeling in me that i have to get better than ALOT of people in WHAP, and if i dont, i feel as if ive failed. its kindve sad. but true. okay, im sick of blogging. or im not, but i should really get a move on with my poem. yheahyeah :D Lol

Friday, December 5, 2008


So, I like..got off the phone with Goose about 22 minutes ago. Haha, he said to update this because for some reason, he enjoys reading it. Hm. why? My thoughts are like, ew, and i type like a valley girl. :] funfunfun to read. He may enjoy reading this, but not half as much as i enjoy talking to him. Yes, if youre reading this. feel very flattered. So. hm, ill probably blog for 10-15 minutes, maybe less. probably. haha
Ive never wanted to think about certain guys masturbating, you included goose. So, i try not to. I try and think of them as very clean, almost childish guys that havent learned..what would happen..if you..yeah. HAHA
So, today, i was looking through my drawers and i saw a bunch of condoms *aids walk ones* and i was HIT BY A TSUNAMI of inspiration inspiration COPYRIGHT JEREMYBIRCH :]
And i was hit by this tsunami, and i was like "I KNOW WHAT TO GET JON FOR XMAS!"
I just hope he doesnt get mad, he probably wont. haha, hes cool like that.i guess, dunno him THHATTT well. I get the feeling i bore him on the phone. Haha
IdkIdk. Je ne sais pas. Je ne sais pas. Hope not. Eek!
LOL. So, i was singing to myself, humming to myself, all of the usual junk, and i was STRUCK, not by a tsunami of inspiration but of APPREHENSION. i have to dress cute on Friday and Saturday. and not that i dont usually dress cute, because, personally i think i do, but SUPERSUPER cute. i have to like, pull out all the stops. for a secret reason.
Okay, im about all blogged out. school tmr. Goose, if you read this. i updated.

Im probably gna get goose...scrolldown!

did you Honestly think i would tell you?

This post seems centered around Goose, so ill rename it. What was once frowziness will now become effervescent